Can you tell I’m running out of “Seoul” puns…? Graspin’ at straws at this point, but good thing this trip is winding down so I’ll be off the hook soon HOLLAAA.
So in planning my trip to Korea this time, I performed considerably less research than usual. I told myself I desperately need to learn how to improvise. (If you couldn’t tell, I have a ridiculously anal-retentive, Type A personality… often to the point of self-annihilation.)
So yes, I decided to do minimal planning (i.e. one or two TripAdvisor/Viator searches)… and just let the rest run its course. And it ended up being absolutely glorious (to be explained later).
Except I kinda cheated because I still made a Google doc with hour-by-hour itinerary with activity “options” (BUT I SWEAR IT WAS MINIMAL.)
Anyways, one of the activities I did plan was to go hiking in the mountains right outside of the Seoul city center. I figured getting pummeled with urban city life for a couple of days meant I required the healing powers of nature. And to get some quality R&R.
………… Except I didn’t get any R&R. Not even a little bit. Probably negative R&R.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a hiking super-enthusiast, having done the Half Dome hike at Yosemite. But THIS WAS SOMETHIN’ ELSE.
Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the epic humidity, maybe I’ve developed the lungs of an 85 y.o. chain smoker in the past month – BUT GOODNESS GRACIOUS I was dying on this 5km hike at Bukhansan National Park. YES, IT WAS ONLY 5KM ROUND TRIP I AM SO ASHAMED.
In any case, you can see the progression of my mood along the course of the hike.
OUT OF THE WAY, GRANNIES!!!!
Still jovial.
… perhaps TOO jovial…
1km later: the heat starts creepin in…
“I think I felt sweat drip down my booby-valley T_T”
“MORE UPHILL WTF”
Aiyohhhhhhhhh
“MAAAAILTING… I’M MAILLLLTINGGGG”
One last grimace…
Celebrating finally reaching the damn Gate!!!! (I forgot the exact name of the landmark… Severe trauma often causes amnesia fyi.)
I AM MEND-POLEAN, CONQUERER OF BUKHANSAN.
This is my Lara Croft: Temple of Doom photo except I should’ve probably posed more seriously (like I said, my brain wasn’t functioning.)
TIME TO DESCEND.
Herpy derpy
I didn’t even bother taking an after-hike photo just because I was so ready to GET OUTTA DAT JOINT.
But I did take the liberty of graphing out my Mend-Emotions throughout the trip:
Okay so that was my Bukhansan fail-of-a-hike. Two days later, and my calves are still sore to the point of limited mobility -_-. Let it be known that I need to start exercising more.
Next up is something truly exciting (at least for me).
As some of you guys know, I went to Cambodia last November and decided I needed to justify my trip there: Why go to Cambodia out of all places in the world? To answer that question for myself, I shot a bazooka and blew up a straw hut.
Now I needed to answer that question for Korea. Why go to Korea?
Well in short, Korea is the only country in the world that is officially divided in half. I was visiting one of the halves……… WHAT ABOUT VISITING THE OTHER HALF, HMMM????
So yes, I decided I would make a visit to North Korea a.k.a. Best Korea (I’m kidding, NSA, I’m totally kidding.)
The plan was to tour the DMZ and Joint Security Area, where I could cross the official border into North Korea.
Signing up for the tour was intimidating enough. They fed me these ridiculous guidelines on dress code, interaction protocol should we come face-to-face with a North Korean soldier, and instructions on not panicking in the event of an emergency, etc.
… Stuff to make you sh*t your little pantalones even before you begin.
On the tour bus, the first order of business for our guide was to check all of our clothing. The rationale is that as tourists, we must respect that this is a potentially dangerous situation so we do not want to do anything to disrupt the peace–including showing off our legs in a cute little mini-skirt.
So I wore my super-conservative button-down and black jeans. I’d like to make it home for the holidays, tyvm.
A Swedish man who sat next to me on the bus told me a funny story of when he traveled to Micronesia (a small island in the Pacific). He told me that in Micronesia, it’s extremely sexual to show off a woman’s knees. But the funny thing was… he would walk to a local supermarket, and girls would be completely 100% topless…….. but lo and behold they’ve covered their knees (cuz they’re ladies, DUH.) Oh how fascinating cultural differences are.
So unfortunately I want to say for 80% of the tour, we weren’t allowed to take ANY PHOTOS WHATSOEVER 😦 Sorry, selfie-stick – no action fo you. There were tons of security protocols as you can imagine.
It’s okay, I don’t mind–the memories will definitely stay with me.
The civilian checkpoint when we entered the DMZ (de-militarized zone) reminded me of the time I crossed the Russian border via train from Estonia in 2007. Except this was surprisingly not as intense – all the soldiers did was glance at our passports briefly.
For our first stop, we went to one of the many tunnels that North Korea created (using dynamite) to attempt to infiltrate Seoul. We had to wear hard-hats because of how small the tunnels are (I definitely hit my head a couple of times down there… I can’t even imagine how my Swedish tour friend felt being at least 6’2″). I have a HUUUGE head, so I barely fit in the helmet fml.
It was so claustrophobic and freeeeezing cold down there. God forbid the tunnel caved in AHHH. I mean, it was a pretty sweet experience to see the tunnel itself, not to mention a little creepy, but ehhhh… 3/10, probably would not do again.
This is a really bad photo of the monument (sorry, way too many tourists) but the below people pushing what looks like a sphere is actually a sculpture depicting the two halves of Korea, and these people are trying to “push them together” (i.e. a quest for unification).
Again, this below signage had a LONG line to take a photo – and I’m not about that life, so…. I creeped on other people posing with the sign! Maybe I should photoshop myself lying across the top of that Z…
Next, we went to Dora Observatory, which was a site where we could get a panoramic view of both the DMZ and Gaesung City, one of the largest cities of North Korea.
Visibility……..was not that good (hey, at least it wasn’t pouring rain like it was supposed to be).
I scanned the entire freaking North Korean landscape via telescope, and not a single person in sight. I thought I would get lucky!
But then I thought to myself: Are you sure people exist in North Korea? ARE YOU SURE? What if this is some Truman Show shiz where someone fabricated this entire fake society to instill fear and awe upon us all?!?
But then I snapped out of my musings and realized… I dunno what I expected… Some North Korean guy smugly standing there waving at me so close to the Military Demarcation Line? Yeah, the odds of that were kind of against me…
Then we went to Dorasan Train station, the closest station to North Korea on the Kyeongui railroad line.
There’s a direct line to Pyeongyang!!! :O (the capital of North Korea)
Random photos with some cute guard statues:
Honestly, I have ZERO clue what this wall was, but there was a long line to take this photo so… I did. With my selfie-stick. In front of like 15 people. Had to awkwardly run-walk away from embarrassment.
(edit: The above photos were taken on the “Freedom Bridge, which gets its name from the return of 12,773 prisoners of the Korean war in 1953 in the first exchange of prisoners after the armistice was signed. Kinda important – Oopsies.)
Another observatory to view the North Korean Landscape
Okay, now’s where it gets SUPER EXCITING, guys!!
We finally entered the Joint Security Area (JSA). Let me first precursor that we literally had to sign a DEATH WAIVER to enter the JSA. Like WE COULD BE BADLY INJURED… OR DIE. That was very disheartening, but actually kinda exciting at the same time.
The Joint Security Area is a place where North Korean and South Korean soldiers stand face-to-face. This area is often called “Truce Village”. Due to security protocols, we were told not to take any photos of the South Korean side (behind us), and could only point the camera at the North Korean side, so this is what you see below. If you look in between the two blue buildings, there is a slab of concrete slicing the building in half. This is the North/South Korean border. Once passed that slab of concrete, YOU’RE IN BEST KOREA.
This is that slab of concrete/THIS IS THE BORDER:
So a little story about this line. Back before 1976, there was NO demarcation line in the JSA. Soldiers from both sides were allowed to roam freely. However, in 1976, there was an incident known as the “Axe murder incident” wherein two U.S. Army officers were killed by North Koreans over a dispute to chop down a tree that obstructed visibility between two South Korean checkpoints. Thereafter, they established this Military Demarcation Line within the JSA.
Totally inappropriate side story now: I had the FATTEST crush on our South Korean solider escort. *swooooooon* I kept staring at him on the bus… and had to feign “taking photos of the JSA” in order to snap these creepo photos:
Sorry, minor unnecessary tangent there. Anyways, I told you about my futile efforts to see a North Korean person at Dora Observatory. I thought I would have a better chance at least in the JSA since it is, well, a Joint… Security… Area…
…..But the only North Korean I ended up seeing was this one teeny little guy standing guard at the grey building across the border!!! RUBBISH!!! (This is like Where’s Waldo? FIND THE DPRK SOLDIER.)
*Btw… confirmed that this was indeed a MAN and not a STATUE. He moved many times, guy couldn’t stand still.*
But hey, at least now I can say I’ve seen a North Korean…
We were able to enter one of the blue buildings, known as the MAC Conference Room (MAC = “Military Armistice Commission”). In this building, military meetings essential to the supervision of the Armistice are held. THIS IS WHERE WE CROSSED INTO THE NORTH KOREA.
In the photo below, you see that conference table. On the conference table is a set of microphones. The position of these microphones is ACTUALLY the Military Demarcation Line (a.k.a. the border). I am standing on the North Korean side! In important meetings, the South sit on the South side, and the North sit on the North. Translators sit at the ends of the table.
Now with a South Korean solider:
My photo with him. We’re SUCH a cute couple, no??? (jk my heart lies with our group escort)
Photo with another South Korean soldier. We’re standing in North Korea!!!
Interesting story with this picture of flags below. These flags represent the countries that were apart of the armistice agreement. Before, there used to be a shelf with small mini flag structures to represent each country. However, there was an incident where North Korean soldiers took the U.S. and South Korean flags and wiped their boots with it or blew their noses into it. Gross. So yes, that’s why they use photos now:
As we exited… photos for posterity. They told us not to point our cameras towards the South side… but they never said we couldn’t take selfies!!!
Just cuz bae looks like he’s staring at me in this photo…
Below is the “Bridge of No Return”. It was used for prisoner exchanges after the Korean War ended in 1953. Prisoners from both sides were given the choice: “Do you want to go back to your original country? Or stay where you are?” The ultimate choice meant you could not return to the other country.
… And that pretty much ends my trip into North Korea!!! HEHEHEHE…
Later that day… I went off script on my itinerary (*HUGE GASP* MENDI HOW COULD YOU). On Facebook, one of my long lost high school friends who had moved to Korea for college reached out to ask if I was still in Seoul. I said yes, but I was leaving tomorrow – but we could meet up later that day!
… SO WE DID. My friend Tae went to my high school (and middle school, but we didn’t know each other then). I know this sounds horrible, but I totally didn’t expect to see him ever again in my life, given he had moved to Korea. BUT OMG I’m so glad we met up.
In true Korean fashion, as my last hurrah in Seoul, we went out…… to eat…. and duh, drink.
Soju… and A GALLON OF BEER FOR THE TWO OF US WTF. That thing was like 20 pounds.
Tae showed me some RIDICULOUS, BEYOND RIDICULOUS drinks. First off, all we did was just mix a shot of soju with beer. All of you know I am a huge fan of beer. BUT GUYS, mixing soju with beer makes it EVEN BETTER. It makes the beer slightly sweet (plus, I hate soju by itself, so basically it eliminates that taste). Life changing – I almost wish Tae didn’t introduce me to this elixir-of-a-drink for fear that I will never enjoy straight beer ever again.
Another drink he showed me involved soju, beer, and then “cider”. The cider was some Korean shiz… which I tasted by itself and it tastes like… sugary sparkling water. BUT ANYWAYS, what Tae did was mix the soju, beer, and cider, then put napkins on the rim, FLIP THE CUP UPSIDE DOWN, and smack it really hard on the bottom to make it into pure foam. He then told me to chug the ENTIRE glass so the foam doesn’t settle. OMFG THIS DRINK WAS HEAVEN IN A CUP. It tasted like Calpico (that asian yogurt drink) with carbonation. Freaking amazing. My taste buds are so spoiled now T_T how will I ever go back to my Jack and cokes…
The aftermath:
You know it was a good time when you COMPLETELY FORGET TO TAKE A PHOTO AT THE END OF THE NIGHT. I’m so sad I didn’t get a picture with cute little Tae. I forgot how much I missed him… AND HE GREW LIKE 10 INCHES SINCE I LAST SAW HIM. 😥 So sad…
Tae, if you’re reading this (and I know I told you not to read my blogs, but in case you defied my instructions) – Thank you for everything!! You’re still as adorable as ever! :’)
Before I left for the airport the next day, had to get one last meal: soondubu and fried mandoo! (Fun fact: my nickname used to be Mandoo – it means “dumpling” in Korean hehe)
SO THAT WRAPS UP MY TRIP TO KOREA.
A brief retrospective now on my entire trip:
I know I’ve had many versions of a bucket list, but they all had one thing in common: Korea was never on any of them.
One day, I got curious and went to SkyScanner.com to look at cheap flights out of SFO (to anywhere in the world). It told me a trip to Korea, round trip, direct flights, would only be $700.
At that point, I shrugged my shoulders and said… “why not?”
I can safely say now: THANK YOU, SKYSCANNER. You have allowed me an amazing opportunity to explore this country of such unparalleled cultural richness.
And to the gods up there: THANK YOU. When I checked weather forecasts every day before my trip, it said “Thunderstorms”–for EVERY SINGLE DAY I was going to be there. Instead, I experienced maybe… 10 full minutes of rain in the 5 days I was there? *WAY UP, I FEEL BLESSED*
Moreover, the inner germaphobic/anal-retentive type A Mendi screams I LOVE THIS COUNTRY, because it’s so clean, efficient, and tidy. Not to mention, the food is exquisite. Kimchi fo lyfe!
Korea now makes it way up there for my favorite places to visit (Dare I say, more than Japan?!) I don’t say this about many places, because I’m determined to conquer I mean travel the world, but I would absolutely 100% come back to this country to explore more of what it has to offer.
So lastly, my haul back to the States. You know me, I spent an UNGODLY amount of money on clothes in Korea. People here are dressed TO THE TEE–from babiez, all the way up to these ridiculously fashionable grannies. Korean clothes are AMAZING!
I also hauled, no joke, AN ENTIRE CARRY-ON LUGGAGE of Korean Instant Ramen & Junk food (priorities, priorities). Apparently, one of the Ramen is ridiculously delicious, but makes you poop fire. Challenge Accepted.
Oh, and some poop-colored “Wild Grape” wine from… you guessed it… NORTH KOREA. I shook the bottle and there is black gunky sediment on the bottom. Yummm, tastes like Communism.
Thanks for tuning in on this epicly long post! You have no idea how much I appreciate all the wonderful feedback/comments 🙂
‘Til next time!
With love,
Mendi
the wanderlust is real. 