“MORE red rocks?! Kill… me… now…”

– Seven-year-old Mendi making air stabbing motions, circa 1998

So… back in, yes, 1998, the Sui family decided to embark on a road trip of epic proportions to Utah for our annual family vacation. I believe “epic proportions” is a vast understatement to describe this road trip, especially at that age. To put it into perspective, a 14-hour drive for a seven-year-old feels like (and I’ve toiled with the calculation myself)…six bajillion eons. To add insult to injury: the scenery. Desert, more desert, “OH LOOK THERE’S A HILL IN THE DISTANCE………among all this desert”, and a little more desert. I can’t say I loved road trips. Unless they were to Disneyland.

I actually tried to find photos of Mendi as a young laddy on this family trip to Utah. But to no avail. Perhaps I burned those photos out of spite.

But trust me when I say that 90% of my travel photos as a kid look like…..

The quintessential “I didn’t ask for this” face.

Fast forward almost twenty years…….. and thank heavens, I’ve somewhat outgrown my aversion to long-distance drives. Only somewhat. Nowadays, I’d much prefer to be a passenger than a driver. (Hm, except during my trip to New Zealand earlier this year, when I drove over 1,000 km among the glorious Zealandian scenery.) But more on my hatred of driving later on. *wallowing in bitterness*

Back in March of this year, my friend Kristin asked me if I wanted to road trip to Utah for Memorial Day. My body’s first reaction was most definitely a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Clearly this wound from the dreaded road trip of 1998 has not healed. Was I ready to re-open it…?

Ha, no, I’m totally being melodramatic here. It took me only about a week before enthusiastically agreeing to come along for the ride.

Thus, here we were, two twenty-somethings, embarking on a 14-hour drive to Moab at 5AM the Thursday before Memorial Day.

Regrettably, I had taken exactly zero photos on the entire drive there Day 1.

Wanna know why?

…. Cuz I was too busy passing out (we had to wake up at 4:15AM that morning to beat San Francisco morning rush hour), eating Hawaiian Sweet Onion chips, and……… getting speeding tickets.

Yes. Indeed, I got a speeding ticket.

What utter bullsh–. Just TWENTY minutes into my driving shift (after Kristin had driven for FIVE  hours), I GET A GODDAMN SPEEDING TICKET FROM THE NEVADA STATE HIGHWAY PATROL.

Thanks, Nevada. All you do as an entire state is drain money out of me. At the Vegas clubs buying your ridiculously expensive drinks. At the Craps tables. And now for this stupid speeding ticket.

(Okay, granted, yes, I was going 92 mph. I deserved it. But still bitter. This is why I hate driving.)

But yeah, I didn’t take any photos on the way to Moab. We stopped by Salt Lake City on the way to pick up Kristin’s college friend Kim.

Kristin (as we arrive in Salt Lake City): “Kim, where are you? We’re here.”

Kim: “I’m coming. Look for the girl who looks like she’s hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.”

Haha, lo and behold, she saunters up with her RIDICULOUS wilderness backpack looking like a true Reese Witherspoon from Wild. Too freaking funny.

So yes, after 14 hours of driving, we arrived at our hotel at around 8pm that night and knocked out.

Alright, now to get to the photos. Starting Day 2. Our first stop was Arches National Park.

Balanced Rock. Very self-explanatory.

My first cairn photo (of many). More about cairns later. (For those who don’t know, cairns are the  human-made stacked rocks.)

Some purty snow-capped mountains in the distance.

Some purty Mendis doing her best rock impressions.

On our hike to Double Arch!

Kim and Kristin (left and right, respectively)!!!

It was only KIND OF a good idea to climb up these rocks. (I struggled to get down. Thank god for the traction on hiking boots.)

Trying to operate my Go-Pro through the phone. “The Windows” (name of the two eye-like holes behind me) in the distance.

I accidentally left my Go-Pro shooting after I climbed up the Windows. Pretty cool perspective shot resulted:

Wow, this is kind of sad. We hiked a pretty long and arduous way to see another landmark, Delicate Arch (which, btw, was much much longer than the “1.5 mile” hike advertised), but it was quite the clusterf*ck of tourists when we got to the top. Sifting through photos, not a single photo worthy of displaying on the blog. As a consolation, here’s one photo of us struggling up the mountain as evidence we did the hike?

We were super lucky (throughout the ENTIRE trip, actually) that each subsequent experience/day ended up being better than the last. Our last hike of Day 2 was to Tower Arch. Pretty tough hike, but the views from Tower Arch were AMAZING.

More cute cairns.

We made it!!!

All three of us passed out at…. 8pm that night. Oops. #sorrynotsorry

Day 3: Canyonlands National Park.

But first, we interrupt this broadcast for a little side-story, set in our hotel parking lot as we were pulling out to go to Canyonlands in the morning.

We were all getting settled into the car–Kristin in the driver’s seat, Kim in the passenger seat, me in the backseat–ready to head out. We hear the car parked to our right start its engine. We look at the Jeep, which looked something like this:

And we see–AND I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS IS 100% TRUE–a freaking 10-year-old-looking kid in the driver’s seat, another 12-year-old-looking kid in the passenger’s seat.

We all exclaimed “WHAT THE F—!??!?

The 10-year-old in the driver’s seat glances at us since at this point we’re legit STARING AT HIM WIDE-EYED, then he proceeds to UNZIP THE JEEP WINDOW (lol this detail adds to the hilarity of the story, in my opinion), and wave us back, saying, “you can back up first!”

Kristin rolls down the window and goes, “EXCUSE ME???? ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING?”

Him: “MY DAD TOLD ME TO PULL UP TO THE FRONT.”

I  mean…. WHAT IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION? We were literally about to head out to Canyonlands… and I don’t think any of us wanted to deal with this. After all… *shrug*…the kid’s dad told him to pull the Jeep up to the front???

Welp… we’ve probably made better life decisions than to turn a blind eye to this situation. All one can wonder now is if the Jeep ACTUALLY successfully “pulled up to the front” like dad asked.

………. Gotta love Utah.

Okay, sorry, back to the main story.

After some wavering on which hike to do when we got to Canyonlands, we decided on a 11-mile hike: Elephant Hill to Druid Arch.

The views along the entire hike were magnificent. It pains me that photos only look “meh.”

Obligatory jumping pic. Hiking poles in all their glory. Yes, I use hiking poles because I have knees of an octogenarian.

One fascinating thing about all the hikes in Utah was that there was minimal signage dictating where hikers should proceed. Instead, it was all cairns. I absolutely loved the feeling walking amongst nature, untainted by the usual man-made signs (e.g.”Edgewood Trail Walking Loop 2.5 miles –>”), and instead looking out for that next cairn to guide you to your destination.

I borderline developed a mini-love affair with each cairn I saw. Thank you, dear cairn. I appreciate you and your life’s purpose.

The entire hike was breathtaking. All 11 miles of it.

I distinctly remember 5.3 miles into the hike… Kristin, Kim and I were struggling since we hadn’t reached our destination (Druid Arch) yet and were definitely running low on gas. We were “scrambling” up some rocks (which we learned is an actual hiking term meaning “using your arms and legs to climb up boulders”), and once I got to the top of the landing, I gasped, borderline screaming. It echoed throughout the valley.

Kristin: “OMG WHAT HAPPENED!!”

Me: “DRUID ARCH.” *points ahead*

So while hiking TO Druid Arch, you come to see off in the distance this phallic-looking rock (which, to be completely honest, is absolutely not hard to come by in Utah – sorry, my mind is often in the gutter). But yes, at one point, you see this below view.

See that phallic thing sticking up above all the rest? WELL, LITTLE DID WE KNOW AS WE WERE HIKING AND SCRAMBLED UP THOSE ROCKS, THAT VERY PENIS-LOOKING THING WAS DRUID ARCH’S PROFILE VIEW.

Pictures absolutely do not do it justice.

On our way back from Druid Arch: HI KRISTIN!!!

I spoke about my cairn-love-affair earlier. Well, my blind trust in cairns actually almost (I repeat: almost) ended up in catastrophe on our way back. I was leading the hiking train back….. or so I thought I was. As the sun started descending and we mindlessly trudged along the trail, we came to a part that required more “scrambling”.

While doing so, this group of about six guys start coming down the same rocks, and one of the guys says, “GO BLUE!”

Kristin was wearing a University of Michigan sunglasses sports band…..which, I realized later on, was the thing that ultimately saved us from total disaster.

We began exchanging pleasantries with this group of guys, all from Michigan (Kim and Kristin are also from Michigan). Funny enough, Kim’s parents live right down the street from one of the guys – small world. At the end of the conversation, we say, “we’re headed back to Elephant Hill”. Then one of the guys goes, “…Waaait a second. We are, too. You’re going the wrong way.”

…Well shiet. I guess my strategy of following every single cairn I laid eyes on wasn’t exactly the smartest tactic. I was leading us to god-knows-where.

Thankfully, we turned around and followed the guys all the way back to our car (while almost getting lost one more time, but this time, with a bigger group. One thing I learned: There is comfort in getting lost en masse.)

Thereafter, we ate then slept.

DAY 4: DETOUR TO ARIZONA

While planning this trip, we were 100% ready to stick to the single state of Utah. Then one of Kristin’s friends told her we can make a short day-trip to Arizona to visit the famous Horseshoe Bend and Antelope Canyon.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, Antelope Canyon was one of my bucket list items AND I WAS GONNA HIT IT ON THIS TRIP.

So indeed, we day-tripped to Arizona.

Horseshoe Bend first.

So one thing we realized is EVERY SINGLE INSTAGRAM OR PHOTO WE’VE SEEN OF THE MAGNIFICENT HORSESHOE BEND IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER LIE.

For those who haven’t seen photos of Horseshoe Bend, it often depicts a person sitting near the edge, looking out towards the Bend, tranquilly pondering life, love and happiness. Like this!

……… Little do you know, there are ACTUALLY about 8 billion people around you, trying to snap the same photo. Every single “solo person” photo is lying to you; more than half the time spent at Horseshoe bend is spent trying to shoo people away from your camera frame to get the perfect photo.

What a scam.

Sadly, I forgot to snap photos of the ridiculous amount of tourists, but here’s a sneak peak.

Of course, we were tourists ourselves…… so we had to do it, too. Heh.

Next stop: ANTELOPE CANYON. Big fat CHECK off my bucket list. So freaking cool and beautiful. Even though, being Memorial Day Weekend, it was also a cluster of tourists.

I realized my GoPro takes terrible photos down there. But kinda cool, too, with the light exposure.

Every twist and turn in the canyon was more pure artistry. (Admittedly, our awesome tour guide Buddy took a lot of my “good photos”, heh.)

Group photos!

OBLIGATORY LARA CROFT TOMB RAIDER SHOT.

I also interviewed our tour guide Buddy about who the worst tourists are. He confirmed my suspicions/fears: CHINESE PEOPLE ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST. C’mon, my brethren, why we gotta suck so bad at being global citizens/tourists?!

Omg, I know I’ve neglected the food photos on this trip. BUT I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT NOT MENTION THIS RIDICULOUS MEXICAN FOOD PLACE WE WENT TO IN ARIZONA.

It was called El Tapatio, and it was so incredibly epic. Everyone in this restaurant insisted on speaking to us in Spanish. Yup – that’s when you know the food gon’ be good.

…….. and, little did we know, HUGE.

Kristin for scale.

My delightful seafood fajita. Which I ate exactly 15% of because it came with a plate of rice, beans, and guac the same size as Kristin’s. One dish could’ve easily fed an entire family. Oh, El Tapatio, how I love you so.

On our way back to the hotel, we stumbled upon…………………………. THE GRAND CANYON AT SUNSET. nbd.

(To be honest, we only found out what we were looking at when referencing Google Maps.)

Day 5: Zion National Park

I distinctly remember that during the Sui Family Utah Roadtrip of 1998, seven-year-old Mendi was vastly unimpressed by Zion National Park.

… That is why when Kristin, Kim and I were planning this trip, I was “totes okay” with just spending one day there.

DAMN IT, MENDI, Y U DO DAT? Zion was SO FREAKING GORGEOUS, I wish we could’ve stayed longer.

That morning, I woke up feeling a bit under the weather. Probably a combination of exhaustion from our travels (even though I was notorious for passing out the moment the car began to move. See: Hawaii Blog Post), and the blasting aircon of the hotel room.

Our plan in the morning was to hike the Narrows, which was a water-trek in Zion. We had to rent shoes, socks, and a full-body dry suit which made us look like freaking space cadets. We looked so ridiculous among folks who were wearing shorts and a t-shirt, BUT HEY, IT RAINED THAT DAY AND WE WERE WARM AS HELL. Sometimes it pays to look dorky. (Story of my life.)

Below photo: Do you see the big volcanic pimple on my forehead? Yep, so this entire trip I wore exactly zero makeup, only suntan lotion, thinking this would help my acne situation. Spoiler alert: the exact opposite happened. A combination of our diet (french fries and potato chips every single day) and the constant application of pore-clogging sunscreen all over my face ended up in multiple Mt. Shastas on my face. I was a complete mess returning to society the next day.

Don’t we look COOOOOOOOOOOL???????

I think we hiked almost 2 miles in when we started hearing a constant cadence of thunder. Not a great feeling after watching an introductory video warning us about the signs of flash floods in the Narrows. We decided to turn around at that point. Great resistance workout, wading through water, though 😉 Booty Sculptin’ fasho.

After our Narrows hike got cut short, we were met with a decision crossroads at around 3pm. Should we just hang out, eat, and do nothing afterwards? Or should we embark on another hike (which, from COUNTLESS independent sources throughout our trip, would be the most mind-blowing experience of our lives)?

I mean… the answer seems obvious in retrospect, but trust me when I say I WAS STRUGGLIN’ making that decision to go on the Angels Landing hike. Thank you Kim for your perseverance. After all, this was our last full day!

On paper, Angels Landing is not a tough hike. 5 miles??? A PAVED TRAIL??? PFFFFFFFFT, easy peasy! We did the Druid Arch hike which was MORE THAN DOUBLE THAT MILEAGE. AND IT WAS LOOSE SAND FOR 30% OF IT!

Well……….. d’oh. This hike was tough. It was like if the Stairmaster had a “Satan” function and the stairs wouldn’t end. And there were thousand-foot cliff drop-offs on both sides of you.

Asking people along the way who were coming down what the hardest part of the hike was, everyone always said the last 200 meters.

2.3 miles in, we got up to the point where there’s an “Angels Landing” sign. Looking at that hill, you’re like “OMG WAIT THAT’S NOT THAT BAD.”

…Then you get over it and you see this. And you’re like, “Crap. I’m doomed.” (Yes, you have to “scramble” up that entire mountain. Def not for the faint of heart. Props to Kristin for conquering her fear of heights!)

Luckily…. at the top, this is your view. Ridiculous.

HAIR ACTION SHOT – photocred goes to Kristin.

Of course my selfie stick needed some love, as well.

I decided I wanted to take a jumping photo on Angels Landing using the GoPro.

The moment I hit the ground and there was a huge thud of my boots on the rock, Kristin and Kim SCREAMED. “OMFG MENDI WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE’RE ON A CLIFF!!!” Oops. This is me witnessing their reactions.

Kristin taking a photo of me selfie-stick jumping lol…..

Yay! Last group shot of the trip.

… That just about wraps up our trip to Utah and Arizona! The next day we just spent driving home (after dropping Kim off at the Las Vegas airport. Don’t worry I didn’t hit the Craps table. I’ve lost enough money, Nevada.)

So, speeding ticket, pimples-all-over-my-face, 10-year-old driving Jeep incidents aside, this trip was so freaking awesome. (Jk, the Jeep thing was definitely one of the highlights. Like, guys… you can’t make this shit up.)

I sincerely apologize to Kristin and Kim for being comatose in deep slumber for 85% of our driving time (I swear, I physically cannot stay awake), but when I was lucid, they were always there to tell the most hilarious stories ever about their high school and college days.

I know that a couple of years from now, I won’t remember how tired I was hiking to Druid arch, or the sunburn on my shoulders, or how badly my backpack chafed my back, but I will always remember how I laughed until my stomach hurt about Kim’s acquaintance Nikki who posts A LITTLE TOO MUCH about her life on social media and who needed a man that “matched her fly”, cuz she don’t “f-ck wit no dummies”.

The title of this post is a quote by French author Jules Renard: “On earth there is no heaven, but there are pieces of it.”

On more than one occasion on this trip, I’ve quite literally thought to myself, looking out at all the natural views: “This must be what heaven looks like.”

Reflecting on Renard’s quote once more, however, I don’t believe heaven is limited to just the physical aspects of the earth. In fact, I’ve realized there is heaven to be found in our experiences and memories, as well. So…….. *raising my glass* here’s to creating more pieces of heaven in this lifetime, guys… 🙂 Cheers!

With love,

Mendi

 

11 Jun This entry was published on June 11, 2016 at 7:06 am. It’s filed under Exercise, Utah/Arizona and tagged antelopecanyon, arches, arizona, canyonlands, explore, hiking, horseshoebend, moab, utah, zion. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.